What's so great about girls?
by Frog-kun
Summary: Ryoma ponders the titular question.


This one's dedicated to all the male fans of PoT out there. I'm sure you've all been through the phase which I am about to describe.

**What's so great about Girls?**

It just so happened that one day as he was walking home, Echizen Ryoma found himself thinking about girls.

Specifically, why were girls so annoying? And why did they think in such illogical ways?

For instance, this morning when he had come to school, he had been ambushed, as usual, by sugar-high Tomoka. She shoved a cake into his arms and said something along the lines of, "Accept my love, Ryoma-sama!"

This action didn't make sense because a.) Inui had set a diet plan which stipulated no sugars and saturated fat, and b.) Even if he wasn't on the diet (Which was the case: he still managed half a dozen cans of Ponta in a day) how on earth was he supposed to eat an entire cake on his own? It wasn't humanly possible.

See? Girls made no sense at all.

It wasn't that Ryoma didn't like females. There were quite a few of them he really admired, like the Williams sisters, Henin-Hardenne, Clijsters, Ivanovic, Sharapova, Kournakova (None of whom he had actually met, but that was beside the point). And Nanako and Ryuzaki-sensei weren't that bad and neither were Sakuno and Tomoka generally, _he supposed_.

But really, what was all the fuss about them for? Beside the weirdness they exhibited at times, weren't girls ordinary human beings? Why treat them any differently from men?

Characteristically of Ryoma, he had wiped the subject clean from his mind by the time he got home. Right now, he was hungry – a little Western food wouldn't go astray. Then maybe he'd force his stupid old man off his lazy buttocks and challenge him to a game of tennis. Ah, life was good in its simplicity.

Nanjiro was reading his insipid magazines again, as was to be expected of him. But as Ryoma was about to open his mouth and say something in an annoyed tone, he noticed the contents of the pages, almost as if for the first time.

"Girls," he said, very quietly.

"Huh? Whadja say?" former pro tennis player Nanjiro yawned as he scratched his backside.

"Why do you read those dumb magazines anyway?" Ryoma asked, frowning.

"I'm surprised at you," Nanjiro remarked. "A healthy boy like you should already know what makes girls special. You know, when I was your age, I had the girls falling all over me."

Yeah, sure, Ryoma thought sourly.

Something of Ryoma's thoughts must have translated to his face, because Nanjiro then said when he looked up, "Hey, kiddo, if you really wanna find out what makes girls so great, you'll find out when you give a girl – THIS!" He reached into his dirty robe and pulled out a box of Lindt chocolate.

Ryoma stared. Like, seriously, what the hell? How could his old man have a box of chocolates hidden up his robe for crying out loud? And such a good brand too.

He wasn't going to waste the opportunity. He was going to eat those chocolates later himself. Stupid old man shouldn't be so generous.

He took the chocolates, stuffed them into his school bag and then turned around and said,

"Come on, old man, let's play!"

**

* * *

**

If you were betting that Ryoma would forget to eat the chocolates afterwards, congratulations, you were correct.

The marvellously edible, mouth-watering, scrumptious, delectable, Swiss milk chocolate lay uneaten in his bag overnight. Then Ryoma took his bag to school and left it by the window in the boy's locker room. He went to practice and the sun rose in the sky, the heat magnified by the windows.

Needless to say, Ryoma discovered that inside the box the chocolates had entirely melted into a disgusting brown mess when he was sifting through his bag later for his school clothes. He realised that he was going to have to throw away the chocolates, box and all. What a shame. Oh well.

That was when a thought occurred to him. Maybe he ought to do what Nanjiro said for once and give the box to a girl. It wasn't as if he had any further use for the box so he might as well. He might even learn something, though he doubted it. Still, it wouldn't hurt.

Confidently, he stepped out of the locker room, clutching the box in his left hand. Unfortunately for him, he was spotted.

If you were betting that the perpetrators were Momo and Eiji who then proceeded to spy on him through a bush, congratulations, you were correct.

If you were betting that Ryoma would bump into Sakuno because that's just the way it is with these fanfics, bad luck, you were wrong.

The first female Ryoma saw happened to be Ryuzaki-sensei. So, naturally, he gave the chocolates to her.

And then he walked away, hands shoved in his pockets.

"What's this?" said the elderly tennis coach as she peered at the box in her hands.

Eiji was scratching his head in confusion. "Is he trying to thank Ryuzaki-sensei for what she's done for the team?"

"That's not his way," Momo said, equally confused.

"The chocolates are all melted," Ryuzaki-sensei chuckled.

**

* * *

**

As for Ryoma, all went well for him for the rest of the day. However, he could not help but feel slightly disappointed. No sudden enlightenment had come upon him; he was no second Buddha. (Though perhaps that was a good thing.) Maybe he should have stuck around to see Ryuzaki-sensei's reaction or something? Or maybe he should have given the chocolates to someone younger…? Oh well, he didn't see any point in trying that all over again. In any case, Nanjiro had been an idiot as usual and Ryoma had been a fool to fall for his innocuous tricks. With any luck, Nanjiro would never find out about any of this.

One disturbing outcome of this whole incident was that it had actually made him even more curious to know what was so great about girls.

Further thinking and, er… observations… made him conclude that girls were special because they had body parts boys didn't and vice versa. What a lame explanation.

To this day, Nanjiro is missing one of his many girly magazines. He searched the house for seconds to no avail. Ryoma will never admit that he knew who took it.

Afterthoughts

You know, I would like to know what a girl's reaction to reading this story might be. Is it amusing or is it sexist…? But I suppose it's all right for girls to have a laugh at themselves. I certainly meant no harm writing this fic.

If you perceived Ryoma as OOC in this fic, I'm really sorry, but well, he _is _a boy and this whole process has to come some day, eh?

One last inconsequential note, during the run of _The Prince of Tennis, _Justine Henin was known as Justine Henin-Hardenne. Not only is Henin-Hardenne just plain Henin now, she's also retired. It is a great shame that stirred the tennis world. I personally believe that Ryoma stole the one-handed backhand off her.


End file.
